Saying it was not meant to hurt. Quite the contrary. Having someone else take the fall, whether that person deserves it or not … No. Retroactive rationalization for a selfish act will not set the foundational stones of a functioning sentient straight. I suspect that is what you seek - to start clean.
From the other perspective, owning ones missteps and showing appropriate sensitivity to their consequences allows one to accept the miracle that is homo sapiens, warts and all.
"Grok to let go.", he advised. Decades have past. It feels like that the journey is nearly complete as the next one awaits.
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