Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Motivational hell

Hell descended. Futility everywhere. It happened so fast. This time as before. Things are not as they appeared. A cruel joke in the making. The fighting at a fever pitch, all a 'living' monument to to the unsuitability of humanity.

Of course, this was the meter pegged (a term for off-scale). All can be said to be true when the meter no longer indicates degree. He thought, "I remember this feeling. It was terrifying and soothing at once - after all he had survived it before and though it was anything but life affirming, there was still time to salvage.

He looked at the deep abandonment in her eyes. Selfishly he felt his shame there. But that was not it. His ego-centered state-of-mind could not see what it really meant. And that same ego now wallowed in misunderstanding.

And so it was, shouts and threats, in the name of liberty. We must defend liberty. Whatever that is ... today. Liberty to hate those with a different perspective and lesser means. No.

Looking back now on the long road to his acquired understanding how mind functions in this corner of the universe, he thought of the approximate time when self-awareness emerged, first in evolution, then in human artifacts.

What was hell's role in mind? Is it part of the infra-structure or nature's mistake (he reminded himself to actually read something of D. H. Lawrence). Dissonance?

This too shall pass. He began the Level VII sign-on protocol and made a mental note, time to listen.

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