Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Reflecting Self

The longest day of the year and at least one step behind. After being in front for so long this felt odd. A friend brings up a somewhat valid criticism and because it hit his blind side he got defensive. Usually, a little dose of denial would fix the guilt which would cover up the flaw … which would overwhelm his creative capacity with really, stupid stuff.

The monitor feed this morning consolidated several themes relating to illusions of success and their aftermath. Nearly spontaneous partnership creates resentment for the third wheel. And then it dissolves as quickly as it formed and comes crashing down and said wheel, as if to add insult to injury, is dragged into the meltdown.

Meanwhile, the yellow marker, raises a caution. Something deceptive has been detected? The seeming adjacency, is it two instances of 'expecting failure'? To win is to understand, for the goal may have been poorly articulated … or worse.

The conversation last night between the two of them followed this pattern. Nuance of a key word in her mind clashing with a different nuance in his. Yet their heartfelt urge to engage produced a result that was unexpected among the largely female audience.

Is 'about what' more gender related than he had considered until now? Had he simply been looking where the light is better? The temptation to play the, "I'm slow but careful card".

How related are self-calibration and reflection then? Inter-communication. Exercising the machinery of communications in a self-test of sorts. "I don't need to go there, I know what I am talking about." Really.

"Where is the final assembly map?."

"Seeing it now would confuse more than enlighten."

1 comment: